Sad, Beautiful, Tragic
by Dreamerrrxo
Summary: 12:45 am Sirens blaring. Blurred vision. Screaming. Blood.That's all I remember. He saved my life. He jumped in front of the gunman and took the bullet for me. I laid there lifeless. Couldn't move. What was happening?


**12:45 am**

_Sirens blaring. Blurred vision. Screaming. 's all I remember. He saved my life. He jumped in front of the gunman and took the bullet for me._

I layed there lifeless. My head hurt. I could see something laying farther away.

_"Jane oh god Jane!" Maura Isles came running over in death heels that God only knows how she could walk in them._

"Are you alright?!" my best friend said doing a thorough examination on me. Was I okay? No. I was in complete and utter shock. I couldn't move. I couldn't talk. I couldn't process. I just stood there. Like a dead soul.

_"She needs to go to the hospital now! She could have an injury I'm not seeing. Go!" She screamed at the EMT's. "Jane I will be right beside you."_

Then it got bright. Really really bright. Was I in heaven? Wait. Maura is next to me. So I'm still living. She's holding my hand and she kept repeating "Everything's gonna be okay." But was it? I just watched my partner take a bullet for me.

Then it hit me.

Frost.

Oh god Frost. My eyes widened and I started screaming like a 6 year old in the middle of a toy store.

"What's going on?" Maura said with tears in her eyes. The EMT's held her down. "She's going into a psychotic rage." one of them said. Jane kept screaming "FROST! NO! FROST!" Then it hit Maura like a ton of bricks. "Oh god." she said. "Frost is dead." she broke down.

I remember them sticking me with something. A needle. I guess it was to sedate me. I remember Maura not leaving my side. She stayed the entire time. She kept me calm. I remember my Ma and my Pa and Frankie coming in to see me.

_"Is she going to be okay?" Angela Rizzoli asked Maura. Maura looked at her. "She had a psychotic break. I wouldn't be surprised if she has PTSD." she said sniffling. Maura missed me. I missed me..._

For the time I was in the hospital, I don't remember ever being alone. My nurses were in and out. My ma and pa stayed civil the entire time. Frankie, Korsak and Cavanaugh were always in and out. Casey sent flowers, and of course Maura never left my side. I was never alone..

I remember about a week later I was talking again. I asked questions. My main question was if Frost was okay. No one answered that which angered me.

_I remember hearing Korsak, Frankie, Maura and Cavanaugh talking. "We gotta tell her Shawn." Korsak said sternly. "He's right" Frankie said. "Jane needs to know the truth. You gotta tell her." Shawn looked at them and shook his head. "She isn't strong enough." he said. "Lieutenant Cavanaugh." Maura said. "My professional opinion is that she'll never be 'ready' or 'strong enough' now is the time. If she has to wait until after she comes back to work, then she'll never forgive any of us." Maura said._

Cavanaugh knew Maura was right. So he took a deep breath and walked in with Frankie Korsak and Maura behind him.

"I need to tell you something about Frost. And you have to promise me you'll stay sane. And that you'll stay alive." Cavanaugh said.

I nodded then noticed Maura grabbing ahold of my hand with tears falling down her face.

Korsak and Frankie both walked to the other side of my bed.

"Frost died in the shooting." Cavanaugh said. "He died protecting you." he said. "He died a hero."

I remember nothing but the soft sniffles of Maura. I remember sobbing a little. But not much. I remember time stopping. Frost was _dead._ Nothing seemed_ real_ anymore.

**2 weeks later**

I was discharged the day before the funeral. I was wheeled out into the crisp Boston fall air. It was chilly. I remember getting into Maura's prius and going back to her house. She said Tommy was house sitting and that she got me some clothing and my uniform for the funeral tomorrow.

She told me I was staying with her and I didn't have a choice. I simply nodded. No arguments. Nothing. Just a nod.

We got back to her house and I went into the guest bedroom and went to sleep. Sleep. Maura's guest bed. The most comfortable bed I had ever slept in. I felt like I slept for days on an end.

_"I'm worried about her." Angela said to Maura. "I am too. But research shows that sleeping can help grief a great deal." Maura said. Angela shook her head. "She looks so... lifeless Maura. She looks like her soul has been sucked from her body." Angela said. Maura nodded "I know Angela. But she's Jane Rizzoli. She'll get through." Maura said in an encouraging way. When the truth was, Maura had no idea if she'd ever recover._

**The day of the funeral.**

I woke up that morning. Showered. Tied my hair into a tight bun. Put on my uniform and went into the living room to wait. I felt like I'd been waiting for ages before Maura walked in. She looked stunning as usual in a black Chiffon dress with black stiletto heels and pearls on her neck, a pearl bracelet and pearl studs. Her hair was curled at the bottom and her makeup was flawless. She looked like she was in a photoshoot. She sat next to me. Then about 5 minutes later my mother comes in. She has her hair up. She was also wearing pearls and a black dress with heels.

We arrived at Headquarters. Cavanaugh spoke and then we all headed to the burial site where Frost's mother and partner were. The funeral was long. Many people cried. I didn't. I just. Stared. Blankly. Then once the funeral was over his mother walked to me. Oh god. I didn't want to face her. But I did. She hugged me and cried. She told me that Frost always talked about Korsak and I.

Then Korsak and Cavanaugh pulled me aside. Cavanaugh told me Korsak found a letter he wrote to me if anything ever happened to him. I did the same for him. Korsak handed me the letter. Then both walked off. I opened the letter and started reading.

_Dear Jane,_

_If you're reading this, that means that something has happened to me. I just wanted to say, that I will always be here. If not physical, spiritual. I'll be watching over you, Frankie, Korsak and . I'll be making sure nothing bad ever happens to any of you. But you have to promise me that even though I'm gone, you're still moving forward. You're Jane Rizzoli. Woman of freaking steel. And I know I KNOW you'll make it through this. You have to make sure Korsak doesn't adopt a zoo. Give Frankie the Chuvakin Action Figure that you used to call a "doll." Make sure Korsak doesn't break the million dollar computer system. Make sure whomever becomes your partner has your back. I know at times I didn't. But I tried to. Always. I never told anyone but I had the biggest crush on you Jane Rizzoli. And last tell you love her. I know. We all know. You two are made for each other and if that means I need to pull strings with the big guy upstairs to get you two together I will. Do it for me Jane. Watch over your mother and my mothers. Make sure they're all 3 okay. You are a warrior Jane Rizzoli and I am your shield. Guarding your every move._

_Keep the streets of Boston safe Jane._

_Love,_  
_Barry Frost._

_I hadn't realized Maura came over to me. She was holding my hand. She pulled me into a tight hug. I remember crying hard. I remember Maura comforting me telling me it was going to be okay. I remember her kissing the top of my head and cradling me. And in that moment. Jane Rizzoli finally broke._


End file.
